Read this if youre going through adversity

Read this if youre going through adversityRead this if youre going through adversityIn the midst of challenging times, we often think were going through the worst time ever.And when were in the middle of adversity, we think it never ends. Thats why we always say things like, my life is overNo, youre notlage dramatic. Its just one of our thinking errors. Its difficult for us to judge a crisis while were in it.In hindsight, its much easier. We can look back and think, I survived that. I will survive other difficult things in the future.But when we face illness, financial problems, or adversity in our relationships, were quick to think its THE END. And once we get stuck in a negative thinking pattern, we lose motivation.And what happens when we lose motivation? Right,we give up.So how can we get over that? How can we stay motivatedduringtough times? After going through a lot of adversity (personally and professionally) myself, Ive learned a few things about staying motivated.1. Do somet hing that makes you feel goodDoes online shopping count? No, It does not.You and I both know that buying things gives you temporary pleasure. Thats the last thing you need during adversity.Because if you seek shallow pleasure, youll go 60 miles per hour on the Hedonic Treadmill. Your highs will be still high, but the lows will be devastating.Instead, seeklastingpleasure. Dont know what to do? Here are a few things I likeOrganize an activity with friends/family that cheer you up (avoid negative people, even if they are your family)Spend a WHOLE day reading a good bookGo for a long walk or run (more than 50 minutes)Hit the saunaGo to the pool - swim a bit and relax a bitWrite about what youve learnedStart learning a new skillWe need to boost your dopamine. To do that, we need to reward ourselves (again, dontbuyanything). Do something that makes you enjoy life. Thats my standard.I aim for doing something that makes me say, Man, I love life.2. Ask for helpLook, seeking pleasure, no mat ter how profound, is only temporary. To go through adversity successfully, we all need a hilfestellung system.Dont try to go through life alone. If you dont have a support system,create one. Start with your family, if they are no good, seek friends who are in the same position as you are. Having a good spouse also matters.But thats not the only thing. If youre struggling, seek help from your co-workers or boss. And dont be afraid to get therapy.Too often, people feel too proud to ask for support. Ill tell you this No one on earth is strong enough to go through all adversity alone. Sure, you might be strong enough to deal with the challenges of life. But there always comes a time when things become too much.Thats when you need help. When that time comes Ask.3. Write down your biggest fearWhats the worst thing that can happen?Its one of my favorite questions. I learned it years ago from Susan Jeffers classic book,Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.When times are difficult, ask yourself th at question.Did your company go bust?Did you lose your job?Did you get a divorce?Did you make a bad decision?Well, whats the worst thing that can happen? Will those things kill you? Probably not.This exercise makes us aware of how irrational and fearful we are. Simply ask the question and spend some time meditating on it.I prefer to write in my journal because writing is thinking.And when you do both things, you become wiser and stronger.4. Create a planMy second favorite question when dealing with adversity is this What are you going to do about it?Sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help. We know that. But why do we still feel helpless? Because weve trained to become passive.I wasnt any different.But in recent years, Ive learned to adopt an active mindset. When I lose motivation, I either come up with a list of things I want to do or set some new goals for myself. And then, I start working on it.When you create a plan, youre by definition looking at the future. And when we imagine a better future, we start feeling better.Just like step 1,the reason behind this strategy is the stimulation of happy chemicals like serotonin and dopamine.And even if you dont lack motivation, its good to look at your goals regularly. Keep reminding yourself of where youre going and more importantly, WHY youre going there. That will motivate you like nothing else.Set your sight towards the future, and dont stop until youre dead.That might be sooner than you think.So dont forget toenjoythe process of getting there (which is the ultimate prize).Thisarticlefirst appeared onDarius Foroux.